It`s midnight but I’m still staring at the ceiling. I had an awesome presentation today but this euphoria is not the cause of my insomnia rather I’m regretting an hour of my day. I wish I had a Time Tunner like the one in movie Harry Potter or Action Replay so that I can go back and kill my shyness.
But this is not a hollywood drama neither is it a bollywood movie, so thinking something like that is all vain. I wonder how excited I was for today as I’m a novice in the bank.

Journey from Itahari to Dharan, it hardly takes an hour but I am used to this tedious commute.
“Mom, please make the table ready, I don’t wanna be late. At least not today.” I screamed from my room, my eyes still in the mirror which has the reflection of my messy bed beside me. Rejecting all those six pairs eventually I agreed with my casual white sharp ironed shirt & black skin fitted skirt. Then what was bothering me was my shoes. I didn’t want to go with slippers & as it’s monsoon I didn’t wanna ruin my heel either. Finally, I admitted to take risk & went with my two inched black closed shoes.
Light makeover, pink lipstick, eyeliner, mascara and 90 degree hairstyle for my long blond hair. It was all perfect.
I had my lunch though my appetite was already taken away by my excitement. But you can’t escape lunch, atleast not in front of typical Nepalese mum; it’s a taboo. I picked up my handbag and laptop, headed towards the same boring road, caught a random local bus and chose a window seat. Nepalese love window seat. Weather was already murky, it started raining immediately as I stepped inside the bus. I checked my handbag to see if i had my umbrella and yes it was there in its own place.
I was enjoying the moment pretending as if I’m the lead actress of one of those TV series my mum is fond of.
“Excuse me! May I have this place” A bold voice appeared like a commercial break. I nodded him without a glance.

“Wow what a fragrance, which brand it is?” my inner voice spoke but I preferred to shut my lips. I was constantly staring at the boring rain, my mind was requesting me to change the direction. Gathering all my courage, I dared to face him but what happened the next moment was beyond my thought. Our eyes met, he was staring at me since, I don’t know when?
I feigned to search my earphone in my handbag just to ignore the glance, knowing I’ve left it back home. It was all I could do to stop myself peep his dark brown eyes the second time. “This guy is smart though. But if you really wanna ignore, login into your twitter account, it would be a better idea” my mind suggested and I started scrolling my Samsung Galaxy J7’s screen.
“Would you mind opening the window?” I heard the voice second time
“All these boys need is just a reason to start a conversation, go on, it’s a good try man” said my inner voice but what my tongue uttered was just “Sorry, it’s raining outside.”
“Are you a banker? I guess I’ve seen you somewhere..” the voice took its way
“Yeah, I’m a banker” that’s all I said.
I wanted to say some more but what the hell happened, my mouth was repeatedly denying my brain’s order and stopped even when my mind wanted to speak.
“I’m Alish Chhetri, an engineer. What’s your name?” He started chattering showing his Id card.
“Did he read me? Or am I posing as if I’m interested?” my mind bumped again.
“I’m Riya Khadka”
“I always admire bankers. I would have been a banker, if I hadn’t chose being an engineer. Banking is not an easy task I guess.” He continued and was not willing to stop but the warning bell rang.
We were at Dharan Bus stop and I had an important upcoming meeting.
“It’s raining heavily, you have got an umbrella right? I need to wait until it stops.” He said
“Yes, I do” I replied.
He didn’t dare to ask and I didn’t bother to share. I walked down flipping my umbrella, took a short walk and turned back once. I don’t know what made me do that but I saw a well stretched smile alone inside the bus.
“Mr. Alish Chhetri, nice name,” I should have said. I should have asked him if he wants to share my umbrella. I should have continued the conversation. “But this ‘should have’ can do nothing now Miss Riya Khadka. You have already lost your chance. Repeatedly reviewing the imagination is just a vain.” yeilded my brain.
Better I scroll my Facebook’s newsfeed, I can meet more insomniacs there. Fifty five online but none of them have ever sent a single ‘hi’ to me. Same boring selfies and pouts, nothing new. Oh,got a notification. Seems like someone wants to be my friend.
“That would be worthless, same as those who are online” my mind disturbs
This poor mind always jumps but has no control over my words.
Ignoring it, I’m waiting that 1 to load..
I saw something, something that I didn’t realize about today’s world.
Alish Jung Chhetri,
2 mutual friends


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